In the last few weeks Rob and I have heard a lot of the same questions/statements in conversations lately…….
Pretty much everyone we chat to – “Your lives are going to completely change.”
Our stock response – “Yes, we do realise this.”
The response in our heads – “Well, duh. We do know this. Maybe we want the changes in our lives.”
Pretty much everyone we chat to – “You do realise that you are not going to get any sleep.”
Our stock response – “Yes, we know this.”
The response in our heads – “Well, duh. Again, we do know this. We have heard all the horror stories. We know that it will be hard. Hopefully the pros will out weigh the cons”.
Pretty much everyone we chat to – “Are you going to buy a new sensible modern car?”
Our stock response – “No, we have not felt the urge to go out and order a high purchase, butt ugly, massive, gas guzzling Citroen Picasso/Renault Scenic/Vauxhall Zafira. The camper van will be just fine. Plus Helen/I does not/do not drive, so whats the point?”
Pretty much everyone we chat to – “Have you brought any stuff/equipment yet?”
Our stock response – “Nope, not yet. We like to leave things to the last minute! Plus we want to finish decorating the house first.”
My response in my head – “No way, its way too early, and you never know what might happen. I do not want all that stuff in the house just in case something goes wrong. As it has gone wrong before”*
Pretty much everyone we chat to – “How is Helen feeling?”
Our stock response – “Sick.”
Pretty much everyone we chat to – “Really? Still?” Then they will launch into a long monologue about how they/or their other half did not really suffer from it, just that one time that they were sick in the bin at work. But they had this symptom or that symptom.
My boss at work – “Have you got twins in there?”
Me – “No, just one. Why? Am I huge?”
Me to Rob in Tescos the other night – “I got to push one of these out of my fanny hole soon” as I put a water melon into the shopping basket. (Yes, this really is how I talk. Its pure poetry all the time with me!)
Rob to me in Tescos the other night – A stupid, non-funny, blokey response about if one of them came out he would be seriously worried and wonder what I have been up to etc.
Needless to say, I made him pay for the shopping that night, which included green, round, expensive, imported fruit.
Everyone we talk to – “Congratulations.”
Our standard response – “Thanks.” Followed by a slightly awkward silence. How do you respond to people when they say this when you are a bit of a socially awkward, introvert who doesn’t really like being the centre of attention? (That’s just me BTW, Rob is a pretty normal person! I never know what to say after peeps congratulate me, other than thanks! Where do you lead the conversation to next? More about yourself, the conception, the life choice you have made or the weather???!!)
A Female Friend to me – “Are you going to have a shower?”
Me to female friend – “No way! That is my idea of hell!” Any situation where I have to sit in the centre of a room, wearing a sash, pretending to enjoy playing stupid party games, unable to have an alcoholic drink, and then have to pretend to go all mushy over tiny clothes is not my thing. Tiny clothes are cute, but they do not make me squeal and coo etc. Yes, I a horrible person with a heart of stone!
…….Yep, its true, I am pregnant. 24 weeks, in fact. Due 21/12/16. Its going to be an interesting Xmas!
I finally feel ready to talk about things on here, although I have not put anything on social media yet. We are being a bit old fashioned, but big social media announcements are not our thing. We have only told our close friends and family in person, on the phone or by text. The good thing about doing an announcement on here (which I hope is not too dramatic or attention seeking!) is that no one really reads my blog! I just thought it would be nice to say something to some of you (if you are reading this!) as I do enjoy our internet correspondence (you know who you all are – thanks again!)
I suppose this explains why I have not talked about cycling, hill hiking and camping on here lately. I have been too effing sick to do all the things that we hoped and planned to do when we moved to Devon!
A note I passed to Rob the other day when he was on the phone to one of his business clients! Poor Rob will tell you that he is suffering too having to listen to me heaving and cleaning up after me!!!
Yes, I am still throwing up, feeling sick, unable to brush my teeth without nearly puking, unable to drink water, tea, herbal teas, lemonade, orangeade (the list goes on – basically I can only drink chocolate milk, blackcurrant squash and vegetable stock!!) and dry heaving/gagging/wretching at any funny smell at any time of day or night at 24 weeks pregnant. Still. But I am not complaining (honestly!) its all part of the process (for 1 in 10 of us according to the NHS website) and its all good. Plus its not as bad as it was in the early days.
I am due to finish work in October, so I will (hopefully) have more time to blog soon. The finishing in October thing is not my choice, but due to the timing of things I could only take a temporary summer job. I wanted to move down here and find a secure job first before giving things another go, so that I could eventually let down said employers at said secure full time job by buggering off on my maternity leave on full pay benefits! But hey ho, this is how things have happened and I am not complaining!
*I might write about our experience eventually. For now all I will say is that it was f**king awful.
Edit 04/09/16 – I felt that I should say some more about my dislike of baby showers. Basically after publishing this post I felt like a bit of a dick for saying that they are my idea of hell! I am just a horrible, miserable cow who dislikes harmless nice things, things that are not hurting anyone, things that make other people happy like the X Factor, musical Disney cartoons, pantos (gord help me in the next few years, eh!), Christmas, weddings and baby showers.
I dunno, they just all seem too forced, contrived and just another way of the man making money from us. But that’s just me.
I have attended several baby showers in my time and played along in all the games, felt sorry for the poor mum to be as everyone guesses how
fat big she is with the string around the bump game, drank the warm lemonade, given the cute tiny clothing gifts and survived! Baby showers are not all that bad. I just don’t want one myself thanks.
I also did a Google search to see if anyone else out there thinks they are rubbish and I found this link. Do have a read if you have the time, it made me chuckle!