Our Garden Currently

Warning – This is a long rambling post to introduce our garden on the blog!

I am hesitant to share these pictures on here. Our garden is a long term WIP and these photos are from the last few years, plus how things currently look. It will be years before I can share the final ta-dah! pictures. But I do want to share the progress we have made so far and show how far we have come. And are garden projects ever finished?

Plus I am showing the interwebs just what a state our back garden has been in. Hint – really bad.

We are very lucky to have a large back garden. Councils built their houses back in the 1950’s on huge plots of land, compared to the postage stamp sized gardens that new build properties come with these days. Although (and I apologise for sounding like a huge dick to all the peeps who live in flats and yearn for a garden) I do think it might be just a tad too big. It just scares me the amount of weeding, mowing and maintenance that it requires. I would happily just concrete over the whole lot, but Rob wants to landscape it……and then spend his free time gardening. What a weirdo.

Another not so great thing about our back garden is that it slopes downhill, and is very lumpy and bumpy. It had some shocking “improvements” made to it over the years, and then was not properly maintained for decades (pretty much like the rest of the house!)

When we first moved in, there was a crumbling shed at the end of the garden, which I have no photos of, that was full of empty beer cans. We ripped it down and burnt it in our garden incinerator. We are now left with a handy concrete patch at the end of our garden which we will in time either put a shed or greenhouse on. It currently has various piles of bricks, car tires and crap on it.

We also have three original brick outbuildings that have asbestos in the roof (nice), and originally housed the outside toilet. These were also left full of rubbish, as the previous owner of the house did not bother to clear them out when he sold us the house. So when we first moved into our house back in 2010, we took many trips to the local tip in the Beetle clearing away rubbish. These days things have changed. We now do it in the camper van! I jest, I jest! – Nope, we just spend a small fortune on Hippo bags!

We also inherited a huge tree trunk. Who knows where this huge random log came from. It was just left in the middle of the lawn. We could not shift it for love nor money! It was too heavy for two men to lift into a wheel barrow to wheel it away. Poor Rob tried everything to get rid of it over the years –
Sawing it – man vs log. Log won.
Burning it – two bottles of parafin later, it was barely scorched.
Chopping it – Rob borrowed an axe. The log blunted the axe.
It was like Chuck Norris this bloody log, it was a hard arse that refused to be defeated/die. Eventually it met its nemesis when Rob borrowed a chain saw from a friend. Rob enjoyed that day. Victory was sweet! Plus he got to play with a noisy power tool! Boys eh!

Lets start by sharing a cute picture of the garden in the snow. Its not so bad eh? But everything looks pretty in the snow. This is just to ease you in gently. The V shaped lump at the end of the garden is the Chuck Norris log BTW!snow dome o shite 1snow dome o shite 2I love bright yellow period. So we painted the outbuilding doors in sunny yellow and planted some fruit trees in yellow trugs, which have so far bore us bountiful harvests of zero fruit.

Below is another snap of the patio area in the rain. Note the overgrown grass and rubbish piles. Please prepare yourselves, there is much worse to come!yellow doorsWe also had the worlds worst patio™ that was always covered in weeds (shown in the photo below). Basically a previous owner of the house had laid some plastic over the crazy paving shown above, piled some sand on it, not bothered to smooth it out , then piled some patio stones on it. It was pugly, wonky, a trip hazard and was contantly overgrown with those pesky weeds.patio of shame

fucking weedsThis photo was not staged for my blog! I hang my head in shame at what a state we let our garden get in. How embarrassing!

Earlier this year Rob lifted the patio stones and uncovered the crazy paving. I love it, its cute and retro in a kitschy Retro Renovation way. Unfortunately it does’nt cover the area that we want for our future patio, and Rob is not up for my suggestion of smashing up some new stones to create a crazy paved extention. So its going. Sob. It was nice knowing you Mr Cray Cray P for this one summer of love at least.

Another thing to mention was that at the end of our garden was a huge mound. We think it was an old compost pile, and this took us three years to shift it away. We named the mound Toad Hill, as every time we dug into it, loads of frogs would leap out of it! I think they liked the damp woody conditions, thats the only reason I can think why they lived there, we don’t have a pond, nor do any of our close neighbours! Anyhoo, these slimey little hoppers scared the s**t out of me and Poppy. Eventually we covered Toad Hill with a camping ground sheet in an attempt to kill the weeds that grew on top of it, and the frogs packed their bags and moved on.cut your grassI would point out Toad Hill, but its hard to spot amongst all the weeds and overgrown grass. We do mow our lawn, I would like to point out. Honestly!gah grassAt least the blanket on the washing line is cute I suppose. Right, now I have disgraced myself online (yet again) by sharing all the above photos, its now time to show how the garden currently looks.garden currently 1garden currently 2garden currently 3Its a bit of a building site at the moment, but so much better! I can’t tell you enough how good it feels to look out the window to see this, instead of what I used to see.

I will talk you through our plans for the garden in another post, as frankly, Im bored s***less of blogging about gardening!

Well done if you made it to the end of this post BTW!

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